How is it like to be at the top?

I always shy away from this question.

To be at the top to me meant a lot more than a position at work. But to be at the position at work where I am at now, is indeed an achievement in many ways, and after a year and half in this role as one of the local senior leaders of the only consulting company I have worked with was a journey which is rich with both success and failures for me.

All my lessons on leadership comes from the great rat race. To write about it has allowed me reflection, regret, stress, joy, reminiscence, glory, fulfillment, anger and all outlets of emotions which has encouraged me to continue on in role daily.

This perhaps is an unplanned open blog to one of my lady colleague, who has made a decision to quit the rat race. This open blog is also to one young man who is also quitting because he does not want to see himself as extra-ordinary, but he really is.

You asked me if it was worth it. I can tell you what I think but do you really want to know? I have made a lot of sacrifices which not many is capable of, and I know we both have different paths. Could I or would I have made these sacrifices if I have other choices? I think I would have still done so because I am the choices I made. Now comes the interesting part - are all those sacrifices I made applicable to you? Were they applicable to others? My answer is that, no. The road to the top is different for many, and for me, I took the path I knew was possible and was lucky to have made it, but I do not believe this is the best and simplest path. I accept it. I accept that our firm needs people of many sorts and I believe that your path is almost clear and you should not give up, but it is not my acceptance you need to hear, you need to know it yourself.

Do I wake up everyday energized? Most of the time I do not. Consulting is my blood as I have a service above self paradigm - I believe in doing things for others, with a passion. I have been recently very tired because I realised I have over-extended myself, and all my extensions have no connection to the overall greater goals of the company. I have one thing going for me, I believe my passion is driving my people. I stop sometimes and I want to give up, but everytime I see how my passion drives my people and their effort drives me back. And then I think, its ok, its just a job. Forget about imperfections, and forget about stress, it is just a state of the mind. At the end, everything moves on and energy is but a state of mind. As long as you have no regrets.

I believe that we should all know when to quit. Do not ever quit because of environment or circumstances. You should quit only because you feel you will not be better. It does not matter what others say, because you are already there. It is just like anything in life, do not ever regret if you do not get what you want, you know if you are already there and if it does not matter anymore. Stop to think how you can explore your potential, but do not deny yourself of your own greatness.

How is it like to be at the top? I actually believe I am not there yet. I will know if I am.